And this has to be said about elections in the two biggest giants of democrazy (deliberately spelt that way) in the world, USA and India. For a start, compare the structures: Just republicans versus democrats. Two major categories and easy to pick, unlike us indians who have a plethora of parties and a whole menu of fake political agendas to make up our political dinner!! Only difference is, they have tried to simplify their life, we have made it more messy ! Easier to choose from two morons! 10,000 moronic AND illiterate peasants standing for assembly elections, tearing each other up in live telecast parliament sessions, with party symbols ranging from an safety pin to all kinds of cattle?!! Well, now that should suffice as as an economical and legal substitute for vial of cocaine to get high! should’nt it!??! Well, we indians sure know healthier ways of chasing highs!! Yankees have to depend on the columbians for that!!
Anyways, talking these days of Obama and Clinton (the underdog!) Ofcourse there is Mr Huckabee on the republican side, still going strong against the two giant democrats. I have always wondered why chaps with funny lastnames like “Huckabee” never seem to win any elections in the USA. I feel we have more funny named politicians (even with a “Bush” of hair out of their ears!) like Laloo Prasad Yadav for example, who DO get elected by our people! Hmm! Makes one wonder if we are actually more democrazy than the yankees! We have had women head of states (president and prime ministers) unlike the USA, although USA touts more of being a “pillar of free world bla bla bla”! Yes, so far, the only big step they have taken in this area, is make a Television mini series called ” Commander-in-chief” starring Geena Davis as the first lady president of USA. And she too, even in the series, never comes anything close to, lets say Indira Gandhi, who in REAL LIFE, single handedly ( I say single handedly, as she won two thirds majority in parliament many times over, which is as good as dictatorship, if you ask me!)governed the country with her party, created a whole new country we all know as Bangladesh, lost her son while she was alive, declared a year and a half (I think!) of Emergency and screwed a lot of politicians in opposing parties ( Atal bihari vajpayee, JP narayan, and a lot more had a good jail safari those days!) and got shot by her own bodyguards, as she stood upto the sikh terrorists by raiding the golden temple! Now, anyone who has been watching the TV series “commander-in-chief” on STAR WORLD, would know, that Geena davis comes across as some half concocted brave and classy woman picture, who has no idea of the real world, pretends to learn about presidency from older president’s speeches and actions ( as if that would help!!) and just bosses around her generals! Its really funny, cause it makes you realize that americans have really no idea, what a really strong woman is! They dont know how to potray a strong, able, and truly capable woman head of state at all!! The americans are still a pretty male dominated society, no matter what their tall claims are.
Enter Clinton into this picture, now! She has a husband who is an ex-president (who, well, the guy who had a lot of fun with the intern! (I am lying!! but I am not under oath!! Am I !!)). Talking of which, I wonder if all these series on TV these days are actually getting their ideas from old Bill!!!! If you have seen the series “Grey’s Anatomy” all the attendings(seniors) seem to be screwing around with interns (juniors)!!(You sure think I watch a lot of TV these days! well, the only other thing to do in Abu Dhabi is to go around the same malls all the time….reminds me of a boy in school who used to get kicks out of hitting a big black ant on the head, and watch it go round in circles for 10 minutes!! TV has more variety than Abu Dhabi has and what’s more…one can understand a lot of people are thinking about too!)
Anyway, drifting back to american politics, woman contesting for US president is very challenging. What if she wins?!! Just imagine, how could she come to the Middle East? In a Burkha?!! That would be a fest! And what would she introduce bill as? Please meet my second-ex-First husband?!! nah!! Bill does not need introduction! At least not to men….and ofcourse all interns better watch out. Ol Bill is doing time again, second rounds!! Perhaps the only boost to Clinton getting votes, would be some old republican marrying Monica and contesting for president! That would get Clinton a lot of sympathy votes if nothing!! (something like PPP in pakistan nowadays and “Mr 10%” doing his thingie!)
Now as if that is not enough to have a woman contesting the american elections, we have a black man contesting the elections too! And who is doing fairly well for himself! Considering he has a name like Obama (Too close to Osama don’t you think!!) and he has a very interracial background!! Hmm!! America IS coming to maturity!!! No more of those waspy old conservative caucasian chappies, or for that matter Texan cowboys like Bush et al, who know nothing about nothing, hence by law of negatives consider they know everything about everything!! And with a middle name like “Hussein” I think the middle east peace process finally can lose the “process” bit and actually have some peace (And we can have some change of headlines in Gulf News!!) Although I would have liked him to have a Jazz music touch, like other presidents who had some prowess with the trumpet! Black do make very good vocals in music and excellent jazz and soul singers and even par excellent athletics, but Presidents?! Now we must watch!!
Its an exciting time ladies and gentlemen!! White woman, ex-second lady (dont forget the BJ husband!) versus Osama…sorry Obama, the black man, multiracial, the biggest contenders for US president!
yet….nothing can match Mayawati’s birthday bash or Laloo prasad Yadav’s “horsy” humour on TV! We still beat america hollow on most bizzare forms of democrazy!
